EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine identifies and solves the 5 most common relationship problems.
Even the seemingly happiest couples have their issues. Although every pair is different, there are a number of prevailing problems which most modern day couples face, often resulting in relationship breakdowns.
With help from EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine, the list below is intended to highlight the reasons why most relationships breakdown and how this can be avoided. If you are encountering similar problems with your partner, try to find sustainable solutions through honesty and openness, in turn strengthening your relationship.
5 relationship problems and how to solve them
1. Lack of Trust
A lack or a loss of trust between partners is probably the principal factor for relationship failure. Without trust, the relationship is missing a sense of security. This can often occur as a result of irrational fears apparent in one partner linked to jealousy in the past.
Salama Suggests: If this sounds familiar, Salama suggests it is important for us all to occasionally take a step back and analyse the situation objectively. Ask yourself whether you’re viewing your relationship based on facts or whether other emotions are influencing your perception. Don’t let a previous bad relationship ruin a current one.
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2. Differing expectations of situations
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” (Mark Twain) This will echo various truths to those who have had a serious relationship. Unfortunately, couples can often be on entirely different pages in terms of their relationship expectations, particularly in regards to their career and family desires.
Salama suggests: In this situation it is important to focus on your own expectations and desires, while also being considerate of your partners. Often, one partner’s desires are being met while the others are forgotten and by the time the couple have realised this, the relationship breakdown is unfortunately inevitable. Avoid this by being clear in your own mind and subsequently with your partner about what you desire from the relationship.
3. Careers moving at a different pace
As a couple it can be difficult to move forward in life at the same pace. It can often occur that one partner is progressing in their profession while the other’s career remains stagnant. It is rare that everything happens at the same time for a pair, which can often be a cause of conflict. Money too is the trigger of many relationship problems as partners can have different views on spending, leading to disagreements.
Salama suggests: Relationship problems can stem from a difficulty in adjusting to new circumstances, possibly as a result of one half of the couple rapidly progressing in their career and therefore changing the balance of the relationship. The other partner may wind up feeling slightly inadequate so in order to avoid this, make an effort to be inclusive of one another as you progress.
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4. Communication failure
Ironically, as methods and means of communication continue to multiply, less and less people actually communicate effectively. Failing to communicate properly leads to a string of relationship problems and feelings of confusion and rejection from both partners. The secret to a successful relationship lies in the quality of communication – it is not just about speaking everyday but about actually interacting and engaging cohesively with one another.
Salama suggests: Effective communication is inherently a make or break factor in the relationship – when partners no longer make the effort to properly talk to one another, the relationship will inevitably end. Individuals often restrain from being honest with their partner through fear of causing upset. The important thing to remember is that honesty tends to be well-received when it’s coming from a place of good intention. If you do have doubts or concerns about your relationship, create a calm environment where you can discuss them and your partner can open up in return.
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5. Trying to change each other
Of course, with any serious relationship comes compromise and initially small changes in a partner can be favourable. Salama maintains when you first meet someone there is always an underlying conscious or subconscious desire to change them. Why? It can stem from wanting to maintain control in the relationship – people like the idea of the person they’re dating changing for them. Alternatively it could arguably be a projection of an underlying desire to change within oneself – it is of course easier to focus on changing your partner as opposed to yourself.
Salama suggests: So next time you want your partner to change an aspect of their personality, maybe cast back and remind yourself what they were like at the beginning of your relationship. This will allow you to gain some perspective on the situation and perhaps enable you to remember this side of their personality that you once admired.
Despite these recurrent relationship problems, a large number of couples are able to work through them and enjoy a successful and fruitful relationship. If you are going through a bad patch with your partner, honesty really is the best policy – work through your issues together and the couple that emerges will be stronger than ever.
READ MORE: How to build a healthy relationship is seven steps. Find out here
About Salama Marine:
Salama Marine trained at the Paris College of Psychological Practitioners, and is now a registered Psychologist helping people with their interpersonal relationships in the realm of love, sex and marriage. She has worked extensively within the online dating industry, and provides consultation to those wishing to connect with like-minded partners online.