Two EliteSingles members re-write their futures following the devastating loss of their partners.
So, the tree is decorated, the ugly Xmas jumpers are out in force and the presents are bought (or at least thought about!) The festive season is well underway, so there should be no reason for feeling glum. Should there?
Actually, the sight of all those smiling couples shopping, ice-skating and wandering hand-in-hand through Christmas markets can put you on a bit of a downer. As can the questions from friends and family on why you haven’t found ‘the one’ yet.
Indeed, the festive season can be a difficult time to be on your own – but it doesn’t have to be! With the help of our Partner Psychologist, Relationship Coach Sam Owen, we found out how you can make the most of being alone at Christmas.
Why being alone at Christmas is no bad thing
There are approximately 1.5 million singles in Ireland,1 a statistic which suggests that a considerable proportion of the population will be spending this Christmas without a partner. On the surface, this seems like it should be something to avoid – after all, waking up in a single bed on Christmas morning is far more Bridget Jones than Love, Actually. But, as it turns out, being alone at Christmas has plenty of silver linings.
For starters, you get have Christmas the way you want it – with far less compromise than if you were part of a couple. If you have no family obligations then you are free to treat the day as your very own celebration: volunteering, going out to enjoy the peace and quiet, eating turkey in your pajamas –anything goes! Whatever you do, just make sure to treat yourself rather than wallowing. As Sam Owen says, ‘’you will always feel better when you proactively take your destiny into your own hands. You’re not going to undo the pressure by sitting at home worrying about it or feeling deflated by your predicament.’’2
For those Irish singles who are headed to see family, there is another bright side to flying solo. Unlike your coupled-up friends, you don’t have to bicker about whose relatives to spend time with, nor do you have to worry about fitting in with a partner’s family routines. In fact, when you‘re alone at Christmas, the only people getting on your nerves about such essential matters as gravy thickness and stuffing allocation will be your people; those you truly hold dear. Now that is a definite silver lining!
Making the most of Irish Christmas cheer
Of course, while being alone at Christmas definitely has its perks, this is also a fantastic time of year to keep your eyes out for someone special. Indeed, as there are many Irish singles out there who feel especially strongly around Christmas that they would like to meet someone, it can be an excellent opportunity to find love.
Furthermore, this time of year is full of social activities that you can utilise alongside your online endeavours. This is the month for everything from raucous office parties to glam New Year’s Eve soirees, meaning that others are many opportunities to meet new people. According to Owen, such ‘’parties and family gatherings can be a great way to meet eligible bachelors and bachelorettes,’’ especially as, at this time of the year, ‘’people are in higher spirits and, therefore, more relaxed!’’
Your chances of impressing at these parties are also given a boost thanks to a touch of festive glamour. As Owen points out, ‘’holidays… are treated as special occasions and so we make an effort with our appearance; if we look good on the outside, we feel more confident on the inside’’ In other words, if you are looking for love this winter, don’t stay at home: get your glad-rags on and get ready to mingle – it’s good for you!
Laying the track for next year
You may also find that this confidence boost is useful for more than just festive parties. Indeed, if you manage to put some of that confidence and positivity into your profile, you’ll soon find that it has a beneficial effect on your online dating activities too! Owen confirms this, noting that ‘’confidence is great for making new acquaintances and helps us to feel more optimistic in general.’’ She goes on to point out that ‘’you need optimism when you’re looking for a long-term relationship because it sends messages to your subconscious that you will win in your endeavour, and then the mind goes to work on making that a reality.’’
If you really are serious about making love a reality and saying goodbye to being alone at Christmas, then there’s no time like the present to join EliteSingles. After all, our membership numbers tend to hike significantly between Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve, meaning that you’ll be in good company on our site. Not only that, by beginning your membership now, you’ll be greatly increasing your chances of finding love in time for next Christmas – if not far sooner!
In fact, an EliteSingles members’ survey showed that it takes members 82 days (on average) to find a compatible, long-term partner on our site – 60 days to get comfortable enough with the platform that they know when the ideal person comes along and then another 22 days of calls and messages before that first date.3 In other words, there is plenty of time to find someone in time for next year’s festive season. What’s more, if you use this time to make a real effort – answering the personality test honestly and filling in your profile fully – you may just find someone truly wonderful, who could be in your life for many Christmases to come!
If love is on your wish list this Christmas, why not join EliteSingles today? You can register here.
If you have any questions about being single at Christmas, please write to us at [email protected]
EliteSingles editorial, updated December 2014
1 Sinead O’Carroll, writing for The Journal, 2012. All the single ladies: those in urban areas more likely to be unmarried. Found at http://www.thejournal.ie/all-the-single-ladies-those-in-urban-areas-more-likely-to-be-unmarried-400973-Mar2012/
2 All quotes from a 2014 EliteSingles interview with Sam Owen: a relationship coach, author, and EliteSingles’ partner psychologist.
2 EliteSingles Survey, 2013.