How to flirt online – Finding love through online flirting

Woman smiling

Just like offline flirting, online flirting is fun! Although body language is a large part of the initial connection, the real chemistry is formed through conversation, online or offline. Ultimately finding a meaningful relationship stems from compatibility through dialogue, not just a cheeky arm graze or extended eye contact. At EliteSingles, people are searching for something great, a long term relationship based on a genuine connection. And this can all begin with a little fun flirtation online. Here are some tips to get you started!

Be Yourself

Fundamentally, flirting is about having fun. It is the spark, the art of wit and spontaneity through conversation that forms the bond of mutual attraction. Dating expert Kimberly Seltzer (CEO and owner of EliteImageMakeovers) suggests singles should ‘be playful, engage, look for clues in the profile, subjects you want to talk about or share stories with’ to get the conversation started. Here’s how to write a winning first message.

The best way to start online flirtation then, is to be engaged with what the other person has to say. You want to laugh at witty anecdotes and funny stories. Online dating gives you this platform, to look at their profile and find something of common interest to trigger the conversation. Then keep the conversation feeling natural by focusing on something funny that happened to you that day. This adheres to Seltzer’s advice of playful conversation and eliminates the feeling of forced small talk.

Once the contact has begun just be yourself. Be light-hearted and open. There’s nothing more attractive than being comfortable in your own skin and this will carry across in the conversation. Feel free to talk about your interests and demonstrate what a great person you are! There’s no need to show off but it’s a good idea to indicate some of the exciting things you’ve done that you’re proud of and make you you! Here are some of the best online tips to keep the conversation flowing.

Ultimately men and women love talking about themselves, we’re all human after all! So while you want to highlight your great qualities, you also need to find out theirs! By asking lots of interesting, relevant questions you provide a comfortable environment for your date to shine, and they’ll appreciate it. Make sure your questions are specific to things you know about him and avoid the boring, standard questions when you first meet someone. There’s nothing better than talking about yourself to someone who is actually engaging in what you’re saying and focusing on the more interesting side of your personality.

Small gestures that go a long way

There are a few small gestures that can get the online flirting underway.

1) The way a simple smile can get your heart racing in the offline world, sending someone a smile on Elite Singles can initiate the first point of contact and trigger a tingle of excitement. It lets the person know you’re interested and want to see what could develop.

2) Use his or her name. It makes the interaction seem more personal and helps to soften the barrier of the computer screen. There is something intimate about using their name in a sentence and it just adds more of the charm of offline dating into online flirting.

3) Pay them a compliment. It may seem obvious but it works for a reason. Everybody enjoys being flattered and feeling good about themselves. That said, don’t use a compliment as an opening line – it makes women in particular question your intentions. Instead introduce a compliment once you’ve already established some kind of connection. It appears more sincere and genuine and that you’re speaking to her for the right reasons.

4) Be the one to end the conversation – it leaves the person wanting more and adds an element of excitement for when you next speak. As Seltzer suggests, ‘It’s all about letting the person want to know more of you, but giving them just enough to do that.’ Ending the conversation on a high enables this to happen and leaves the other person thinking of you fondly with intrigue as to what will happen next. Thus, building the excitement for the next conversation – mystery is the fuel to the fire!

Go for it!

These are some tips that can help your online game but as aforementioned, online flirting is fun and ultimately you should just enjoy it! Being yourself by bringing your personality and humour into the conversation will make you feel more comfortable and subsequently your date too. As Seltzer suggests, ‘’the more you come from a place of authenticity to start a conversation, the better off you are. That can make the other person feel comfortable as well.’’ Keep the conversation natural as you would in person. It is this initial contact, this spark that can lead to a deep connection with someone and build to a healthy relationship.


All Kimberly Seltzer quotes from an exclusive 2013 interview with EliteSingles. Kimberly Seltzer, dating and makeover expert, CEO and owner of EliteImageMakeovers

Tamir, D.I., and Mitchell, J.P. (2012). ‘Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding’. PNAS. Found at

About the author: Charlotte Bridge

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