Online Dating: First message Dos and Don’ts

In an EliteSingles survey, our members were asked how they decide whether they want to go on a date with someone they’ve met online and 54% of Irish users concluded that it was all down to the first message.

When it comes to online dating then, the first message is a deal breaker. But it can be difficult to craft an engaging text that’s flirty but appropriate and portrays you accurately. To help make it easier, EliteSingles explored the dos and don’ts of the first approach, discovering everything you need to write a memorable first message.

First Message: Dos and Don’ts

As the initial contact with online dating is so vital, EliteSingles can help you on your way, in particular guiding you with contacting matches and creating the perfect profile. While this can really help break the ice, the time will come when you’ll want to truly make an impression and send an original message. Here’s how to get it right.

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1. Don’t copy and paste your messages

For those who love to copy and paste, the reality is that your message recipients will be able to tell the difference between a genuine attempt to connect and a copy paste template sent out to the masses. Therefore to make a good impression, first messages need to be original; it’s about making the recipient feel special and showing them that you’re actually interested in them as an individual.
TRY THIS: You want to demonstrate that you’ve read their profile so point out what it is you liked in the text. If you share a love of sports, a passion for food or an interest in literature, let them know what you have in common and get the conversation underway.

2. Do run a spell check before you hit send

Msgs wit por spelin r relly hard 2 reed. Baffled? The same goes for your message recipient. Poor spelling is not attractive. Fact. So a misspelled message can only be bad news. If you want to reach a strong understanding with your partner, you need at the very least to understand each other’s first messages. A message that is a quick and easy read, allows your interest to spend less time deciphering your message and more time daydreaming about your first date. Spell check is your friend – use it!

3. Don’t be too forward in your messages

There is a fine line between being engaging and flirtatious and being inappropriate. While a bit of online flirting can be great when you get it right, it can quickly become too much. A basic rule to follow is to avoid overtly physical compliments in your online dating first message as this can send the wrong signal.
TRY THIS: To avoid being taken the wrong way, you are best off chatting about your compatible personalities – you may truly mean your compliments but, until you know each other better, it is safer to keep the flattery for a later stage.

4. Do stay on the sunny side!

Positive people are attractive so the most successful online messages will stem from an upbeat tone. Remember you are here to sell yourself as an individual and illustrate your best qualities to someone. Not only will this make a great first impression, you’ll be reminded of the fact that you yourself are wonderful, you are interesting and you are definitely worth dating. If you feel a bit like you’re boasting, why not go for the listening angle – focus on the other person’s good qualities and be well on your way to securing your next date.

Ready to put your new first message skills to good use? Join EliteSingles today to meet your matches and get communicating! Just click here to register.

If you have any questions about online messaging, please leave a comment below or write to us at [email protected]


1 EliteSingles 2014 ‘Dating Profile’ Survey

About the author: Charlotte Bridge

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